My ZuaN Dearest

i stumbled upon an  Autism site and suddenly it knocked my head. i did some reading and checklist. Feels like i cannot accept it at first,but now i admit that i must redha and tawakal for everything that happen. God has planned it this way.But i'll do everything for my Zuan. and i hope that this is just my over reacting feeling..terlebih - lebih.

Autism Checklist



Difficulty in mixing with other children  = he will sometime look uncomfortable and isolate himself - check
Insistence on sameness; resists changes in routine = i'm not aware of this
Inappropriate laughing and giggling = sometimes, i misunderstood it as he being happy - check

No real fear of dangers = he don't even know the dangers!! - check

Little or no eye contact = hard to have eye contact - check

Sustained odd play = i'm not aware of this
Apparent insensitivity to pain = no wonder everytime went to the clinic for his injection, he barely cry..

Echolalia ( repeating words or phrases in place of normal language ) = i'm not aware of this but he stop babling suddenly few weeks back...

Prefers to be alone; aloof manner = i'm not aware of this

May not want cuddling or act cuddly = obviously.can only hug him when he want to
Spins objects = his favorite.. :(

Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as deaf = it is not easy to call him by his name...need to try hard..
Inappropriate attachment to objects = plastic tumbler/cup, cans
Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words = yup..totally
Noticeable physical overactivity or extreme underactivity = sometimes he runs all the time..
Tantrums - displays extreme distress for no apparent reason =not yet showing any that cannot be controlled
Unresponsive to normal teaching methods = *sigh*
Uneven gross/fine motor skills. (May not want to kick ball but can stack blocks.) = throwing things around but don't want to put it back in place.

This thursday, i have an appointment with the child specialist. I hope i can have better advice. I know, this is almost hard for me to accept but i know, he is my precious.. and i will love him no matter what.. i am not suppose to grieve right? People might not understand my Zuan and i'll make sure no one bully him.

" Dear God, please help me to get through this situation.Help me to be calm and patient with him and let me love him more and more everyday. Amin"