He is autistic...but we love him very very much...and always.

Ya. We finally got the reviews result. My suspicion is confirmed. Zuan is diagnosed with autism and feature of ADHD... and how we reacted? My husband was a bit blur..my stepmom even worse..never heard of it. i've done some reading before, so i am not as blur as my husband...but still some sadness feeling creeping in my heart, he will never be as normal as other kid as his age.

He is almost 3 now,yet his gross and fine motor development is far behind from his peers. He is now attending intervention class twice a week and i hope he can improve from there. I really want him to have 5 days a week intervention class but we cannot afford it for the time being. It will cost us a 1K plus a month at Cita-cita (Intervention centre for autistic children).

I will need to discuss a life plan for Zuan with my husband.

Speaking of my husband, he is still 'stranded' in Kuching. I pray hard to God so that he would be transferred out back to KK. I need him! We need him!

And i have been absent since tuesday. I felt terrible skipping class but i don't have much choice. Zuan was not well, my stepmom has been hospitalized and ordered to continue bed-rest at home. So it was only 'I' left to take care of the family. What a life kan? still stuck here.. haha..

I haven't finish my driving lesson.. suppose to take the JPJ test but i am scared that i will screw it up. So? what to do..I will wait for my long semester break and will finish it, and get my driving license. Cross fingers. :)

To all my blogger readers, thanks for still reading..and for those blog that i am following, i still read your blog... i might just didn't put my marks there...

nite everyone..need to take a nap now that it is 5 minutes to 1 am in the morning and i have to get up at 4.30 later...need to cook Zuan food before go to school at 6 am.Hopefully Zuan will stay asleep and only wake up when i already gone...:P. kesian if he wakes up too early..

tata untuk sekarang.

Jujurlah padaku...

I don't know what is wrong with my eyes..but i think i have a serious problem in identifying people without looking at them closely..This morning, i thought i met my classmate on the way to the faculty. Seeing the person way of dressing, i was very confident that it was her. I almost waved at her when i realised i didn't recognise the friend that tag along. The girl must terperasan  i was starring at her as she turn her head towards me. I smiled sweetly at her. Mesti dia tertanya-tanya kan..

Then still smiling to myself, i settle down my things at the table outside the classroom when i caught a glimpse of her *again* ..this time i was almost so confident because she was wearing the usual creamy pink baju kurung she always wear. I was ready to wave at her when once again, its not her!!! Astagfirullah!! napa juga mata ni pagi-pagi buta? The distance between us is not more than 15 metres and her face is already blur in my eyes? patut mau cek sudah ni mata ni....buta sudah...

So again..there my smile goes..huahaha...its okay...senyum itu satu sedekah...
i thought i really saw her this time...walking with someone at the foyer near the computer lab. ni kali la..memang dia lai ni.... of course i was so confident, looking at the way she dress this time, baju blaus dan skirt putih..but then, its not her..again...so i keep my hand down and put a smile on...i know..she didn't notice me..not like the two girls before.

Finally, i saw her outside the classroom. This time, its really her. untuk tidak kempunan mau melambai Joan, saya lambai juga dia..hahahahaha

eh, apa kena mengena tajuk post sama story ni? nothing..just the song that keep singing in my head, i cannot get rid of it...

And i am suppose to finish my blog analysis thingy..one assignment from Mejar H. ( met him at 1Borneo last friday, and he was starring at me like he saw something ugly..erg....yalah..hari tu jalan dress macam mama mama...but then, its true..i am a mom what..:) hehehe..if he critisize about my dressing that friday in his next class i have one answer for him..: yes, i'm a mom..)
Instead, i update my blog..hahaha

to all my blog friends...i still read your blogs, i just didn't leave my 'bitemarks' ngeheee....so don't worry about once a month update...if i have extra extra time, i will update more..

p/s : i'm thinking to dedicate this blog to my son Zuan..ya..of course...he is too special for me..its no harm writing about something you love right? but still in thinking process...

nah.jam 11 sudah... off to next lesson.now.

..Assignments, Mejar H and Zuan?

Salam...puasa ka nda oo?

Sempena Bulan Ramadhan Bulan Baik ni...marilah kita sama - sama buat kebaikan...tambah - tambahkan amalan baik kita tu...ngumpat2 tu kurang -kurang kan... (even though today i feels like mau mengumpat jak)

 No la.. just a tidbit to make sure this blog still alive...my last post macam 7 tahun yang lalu lagi....sian juga follower ku yang mungkin tertanya -tanya hidup ka lagi blog ni ka tidak..

da dua kali puasa sejak bergelar student ni...and sejak tu la juga aku puasa sendiri.. huhu.. yalah... bapanya Zuan di Kuching...sedih tau...daddy..? bila la transfer...

Pelik? Mejar H? ahahaha.....
"look at you...dress like the cleaner...even the cleaner is look smarter than you...and you...look like a reload coupon seller..." and the phrase "showing off your b*&^%t" ngehee....padas jugala sikit....tapi kali dia memang gitu kan....
so lesson learned..please wear a decent and 'un-showing' clothing when attending his class.. :)

I feels like i haven't learned anything since mula sem ni...ntahla..engine ka yang nda pandai panas or memang rasa cam sem ni blur jak... lot of things bah happening around...sampai nda tau la mo cakap apa..assignment? banyak..tapi lum juga start buat....(ni mo buat la ni....)

And as for Zuan update...no comment...i was so frustrated with what had happened, i cannot even narrate anymore...thanks to the kind hearted kakak at HQE, she managed to calm my anger that day and i can re-schedule Zuan appointment..kepada lagi 3 bulan akan datang...ya..baiklah....
*sigh*
KALAU MACAM NI PA MACAMLA? MAKIN LAMA LA DAPAT RESULT..MAKIN LAMA LA ZUAN BOLEH ATTEND INTERVENTION CLASS!!!!!! (marah tahap dewa)

bah...itu jak la....jangan risau..saya masih baca blog kamurang kawan-kawan...tapi mungkin xdala footprint...yalah..lama nda online..ni pun pinjam stacey punya laptop..thanks staze...

p/s: nda lama lagi raya...dah shopping kamurang?

under construction...

BERSAWANG, ABUK 3 INCI...*sigh*

hi all...!!!! i'm fine, thank you...
what date is today?..wow..lamanya blog ini tidur....hibernasi mangkali....
nyway....i seem to lost my words of tought nowadays...why? dunno...maybe i became lazier to write as the days pass by..hm...

i think, quick update is fine...its been awhile i didn't blog hop...i miss all the updates from my blogger friends...

i'm enjoying my semester break now...and next month, i'll be in the third semester..5 semesters to go... hopefully i can pass tru...warkkk.....

quick update with nazwan: can say the word 'mama' already..but seem didn't know what is the meaning of it. if you feed him with food  he will say 'mamam' ..mama and mamam...the two words that he mastered...still babbling though...i say that it is his own way of communicating, eventhough i can never interpret the meaning...last week, went to see ENT to continue with his hearing test but this time, looks like the machine had problem and nazwan have to attend another appoinment next month. I am trying hard to teach Nazwan to talk, but yalah...kadang kadang dia buat dunno jak..*sigh*

trying to update this blog at least once a week but i failed...hahaha..apperently, after i bought the 'Charmed' series, i let myself indulged in it.?(betul ka tu ayat?) currently watching season 6...hehe...itu yang tidak main facebook, tidak buka blog...lagi teruk, i abandoned my SIMS family!!

and further more, my lappy seems to automaticly shut down!! punya la bah x syok...why arr? any suggestion? and solution?

bah..see you soon...
blog hop dulu

i'm still alive.....

hai kawan - kawan....penat saya sapu sawang hari ni...blog saya sudah berhabuk tahap dewa...almost a month i didn't update my blog....kononla...so apa la cerita?

Zuan masih belum pass hearing test..need to do it over and over  again sampai pass. Kenapa? sebab dia really sensitif sama spital...being sedated and fell asleep, but then bila lekat jak wayar trus bangun...adeh....... then tidak boleh sedate dua kali..nanti overdose..then have to have appointment every month. *sigh* i am quite sure now that he has autism...and i can asccept that. what worry me is that the hearing test. it must be quickly done so that Zuan can move on to another stage of test...after hearing test, there will be a speech test...then barulah mereka boleh pastikan apa step yang seterusnya. I really want to join the early intervention program at Cita-Cita centre...bagus juga kan if ada early intervention....tidak la teruk sangat nanti dia...

then my exam started yesterday..phonology ok lagi..mampu lagi mengarang..but the paper just now, macam penuh dengan karangan kosong...tekanan.....mummy minta sorry Zuan if mummy x dapat buat yang the best sem nie...banyak benda bah in my mind....

started my driving lesson sudah..rasa lucu buat parking....mati la..kasi rebah dua tiang aa...thinking of belajar parking tu lebih skit....time buat 3 penjuru boleh plak...

bah..itu jak la untuk sekarang ni..mau revise on psikologi plak....huhu...

ASS-ignments, Nazwan, Hubby...and Adam Lambert?

hi everyone..penat saya sapu spidernet di blog saya ni...have to visit this 'sphere' 'coz its been a while tidak menjejakkan kaki here.. :)

what is new with me? not much....
haven't blog walking for a while...i missed all my blogger frens stories...

i still have 5 assignments to go...i don't know why this semester i tend to 'procascinate' (is my spelling right? )hm.... and believe me.. all those assignments are damn hard....and i should started it earlier..but then....i don't know why..*sigh*

Then my dear Nazwan development still bother me once in a while...yeah.. of course i love him whatever happen but, i still have the sad feeling in my heart...another *sigh* tomorrow will bring him to see paediatrician...to get second opinion...i am not into this but as my hubby insist...

And what about Adam Lambert?...heish...the song what do you want from me keep singing on my head!! i can't make it stop!! hantu punya Lambert!!!

bah, that's all for now...will update soon...and i'll blog walk again when my assignments done...but then..exam plak around the corner...hahah...then time cuti la...kan...hm..

Nazwan and Phonology

ya...
today went to see the Audiometrist. Unfortunately, Zuan was not very cooperative with the doctor. I think he pissed the Doctor off. (got that term ka?) So, Zuan was sedated, let him fall asleep for awhile before testing him again. Sadly, he woke up just after the left ear checked. sebelah lagi dia renung - renung dok tu dengan pandangan tajam. So have to come back again next month. Another appoinment. Luckily this time, it will be on the study week, so i don't have to 'absent' from class.

As for today, i managed to come to my Phonology midterm. 're-seat' midterm actually. Why? i scored worst on my first one. And this time? at least i don't do much bullshit in my paper..hehehe...though i cannot 'write the exact /right terms'  aku paham sorang sudah la...err..boleh ka camtu..?

bah, bapa saya tunggu di luar lebri sudah ni.nanti ngamuk pulak dia. see you guys in the next update.hopefully soon.......

p/s: hubby at semporna now, 2moro is my BIL wedding day...