hi...my name is....

ngarang jak tajuk di atas..mau tulis something jak ba d blog..sian my fellow followers.....uhuhukkk...xda jak update dari saya nie...

tunggu saya on semester break ya... now masih struggle baca buku.....

see you soon...

Jujurlah padaku...

I don't know what is wrong with my eyes..but i think i have a serious problem in identifying people without looking at them closely..This morning, i thought i met my classmate on the way to the faculty. Seeing the person way of dressing, i was very confident that it was her. I almost waved at her when i realised i didn't recognise the friend that tag along. The girl must terperasan  i was starring at her as she turn her head towards me. I smiled sweetly at her. Mesti dia tertanya-tanya kan..

Then still smiling to myself, i settle down my things at the table outside the classroom when i caught a glimpse of her *again* ..this time i was almost so confident because she was wearing the usual creamy pink baju kurung she always wear. I was ready to wave at her when once again, its not her!!! Astagfirullah!! napa juga mata ni pagi-pagi buta? The distance between us is not more than 15 metres and her face is already blur in my eyes? patut mau cek sudah ni mata ni....buta sudah...

So again..there my smile goes..huahaha...its okay...senyum itu satu sedekah...
i thought i really saw her this time...walking with someone at the foyer near the computer lab. ni kali la..memang dia lai ni.... of course i was so confident, looking at the way she dress this time, baju blaus dan skirt putih..but then, its not her..again...so i keep my hand down and put a smile on...i know..she didn't notice me..not like the two girls before.

Finally, i saw her outside the classroom. This time, its really her. untuk tidak kempunan mau melambai Joan, saya lambai juga dia..hahahahaha

eh, apa kena mengena tajuk post sama story ni? nothing..just the song that keep singing in my head, i cannot get rid of it...

And i am suppose to finish my blog analysis thingy..one assignment from Mejar H. ( met him at 1Borneo last friday, and he was starring at me like he saw something ugly..erg....yalah..hari tu jalan dress macam mama mama...but then, its true..i am a mom what..:) hehehe..if he critisize about my dressing that friday in his next class i have one answer for him..: yes, i'm a mom..)
Instead, i update my blog..hahaha

to all my blog friends...i still read your blogs, i just didn't leave my 'bitemarks' ngeheee....so don't worry about once a month update...if i have extra extra time, i will update more..

p/s : i'm thinking to dedicate this blog to my son Zuan..ya..of course...he is too special for me..its no harm writing about something you love right? but still in thinking process...

nah.jam 11 sudah... off to next lesson.now.

..Assignments, Mejar H and Zuan?

Salam...puasa ka nda oo?

Sempena Bulan Ramadhan Bulan Baik ni...marilah kita sama - sama buat kebaikan...tambah - tambahkan amalan baik kita tu...ngumpat2 tu kurang -kurang kan... (even though today i feels like mau mengumpat jak)

 No la.. just a tidbit to make sure this blog still alive...my last post macam 7 tahun yang lalu lagi....sian juga follower ku yang mungkin tertanya -tanya hidup ka lagi blog ni ka tidak..

da dua kali puasa sejak bergelar student ni...and sejak tu la juga aku puasa sendiri.. huhu.. yalah... bapanya Zuan di Kuching...sedih tau...daddy..? bila la transfer...

Pelik? Mejar H? ahahaha.....
"look at you...dress like the cleaner...even the cleaner is look smarter than you...and you...look like a reload coupon seller..." and the phrase "showing off your b*&^%t" ngehee....padas jugala sikit....tapi kali dia memang gitu kan....
so lesson learned..please wear a decent and 'un-showing' clothing when attending his class.. :)

I feels like i haven't learned anything since mula sem ni...ntahla..engine ka yang nda pandai panas or memang rasa cam sem ni blur jak... lot of things bah happening around...sampai nda tau la mo cakap apa..assignment? banyak..tapi lum juga start buat....(ni mo buat la ni....)

And as for Zuan update...no comment...i was so frustrated with what had happened, i cannot even narrate anymore...thanks to the kind hearted kakak at HQE, she managed to calm my anger that day and i can re-schedule Zuan appointment..kepada lagi 3 bulan akan datang...ya..baiklah....
*sigh*
KALAU MACAM NI PA MACAMLA? MAKIN LAMA LA DAPAT RESULT..MAKIN LAMA LA ZUAN BOLEH ATTEND INTERVENTION CLASS!!!!!! (marah tahap dewa)

bah...itu jak la....jangan risau..saya masih baca blog kamurang kawan-kawan...tapi mungkin xdala footprint...yalah..lama nda online..ni pun pinjam stacey punya laptop..thanks staze...

p/s: nda lama lagi raya...dah shopping kamurang?

So sorry my love..

*sigh*
 i thought i was supposed to bring Zuan to the ENT specialist clinic today. His last appointment at Kuching GH. Turned out it was the wrong date!!! i supposed to bring him week ago..on the 2nd of July!!! How can i didn't check the date back then? i have a month to check bah! Instead i konon konon hold on to my wrong memory. i mistaken the date with the time. see, the appintment should be on the 2nd July, 9 am. and i stupidly remember 9th july, 9 am.just because me and hubby argue about the time the other day.

i feel very disappointed now. Why? because he almost done bah! Only his right ear that need to be checked. And ENT here give 15ml of sedative compared to KK ENT that just give 5ml..no wonder Zuan bangun balik...

then called KK ENT just now, hoping that i can get appointment for Zuan next week. Not available, he can only do the test on 26th august. I wrote it down, put it in my phone apps so that i will never wrong. Hm..tem posa lagi tu...ada cuti sem ka tu aa? ka bz kami mid term..mati la....have to check back  my schedule..

bah..busy ni main fairyland di facebook..hahaha...best....

see you..muahmuah!!

under construction...

BERSAWANG, ABUK 3 INCI...*sigh*

hi all...!!!! i'm fine, thank you...
what date is today?..wow..lamanya blog ini tidur....hibernasi mangkali....
nyway....i seem to lost my words of tought nowadays...why? dunno...maybe i became lazier to write as the days pass by..hm...

i think, quick update is fine...its been awhile i didn't blog hop...i miss all the updates from my blogger friends...

i'm enjoying my semester break now...and next month, i'll be in the third semester..5 semesters to go... hopefully i can pass tru...warkkk.....

quick update with nazwan: can say the word 'mama' already..but seem didn't know what is the meaning of it. if you feed him with food  he will say 'mamam' ..mama and mamam...the two words that he mastered...still babbling though...i say that it is his own way of communicating, eventhough i can never interpret the meaning...last week, went to see ENT to continue with his hearing test but this time, looks like the machine had problem and nazwan have to attend another appoinment next month. I am trying hard to teach Nazwan to talk, but yalah...kadang kadang dia buat dunno jak..*sigh*

trying to update this blog at least once a week but i failed...hahaha..apperently, after i bought the 'Charmed' series, i let myself indulged in it.?(betul ka tu ayat?) currently watching season 6...hehe...itu yang tidak main facebook, tidak buka blog...lagi teruk, i abandoned my SIMS family!!

and further more, my lappy seems to automaticly shut down!! punya la bah x syok...why arr? any suggestion? and solution?

bah..see you soon...
blog hop dulu

i'm still alive.....

hai kawan - kawan....penat saya sapu sawang hari ni...blog saya sudah berhabuk tahap dewa...almost a month i didn't update my blog....kononla...so apa la cerita?

Zuan masih belum pass hearing test..need to do it over and over  again sampai pass. Kenapa? sebab dia really sensitif sama spital...being sedated and fell asleep, but then bila lekat jak wayar trus bangun...adeh....... then tidak boleh sedate dua kali..nanti overdose..then have to have appointment every month. *sigh* i am quite sure now that he has autism...and i can asccept that. what worry me is that the hearing test. it must be quickly done so that Zuan can move on to another stage of test...after hearing test, there will be a speech test...then barulah mereka boleh pastikan apa step yang seterusnya. I really want to join the early intervention program at Cita-Cita centre...bagus juga kan if ada early intervention....tidak la teruk sangat nanti dia...

then my exam started yesterday..phonology ok lagi..mampu lagi mengarang..but the paper just now, macam penuh dengan karangan kosong...tekanan.....mummy minta sorry Zuan if mummy x dapat buat yang the best sem nie...banyak benda bah in my mind....

started my driving lesson sudah..rasa lucu buat parking....mati la..kasi rebah dua tiang aa...thinking of belajar parking tu lebih skit....time buat 3 penjuru boleh plak...

bah..itu jak la untuk sekarang ni..mau revise on psikologi plak....huhu...

ASS-ignments, Nazwan, Hubby...and Adam Lambert?

hi everyone..penat saya sapu spidernet di blog saya ni...have to visit this 'sphere' 'coz its been a while tidak menjejakkan kaki here.. :)

what is new with me? not much....
haven't blog walking for a while...i missed all my blogger frens stories...

i still have 5 assignments to go...i don't know why this semester i tend to 'procascinate' (is my spelling right? )hm.... and believe me.. all those assignments are damn hard....and i should started it earlier..but then....i don't know why..*sigh*

Then my dear Nazwan development still bother me once in a while...yeah.. of course i love him whatever happen but, i still have the sad feeling in my heart...another *sigh* tomorrow will bring him to see paediatrician...to get second opinion...i am not into this but as my hubby insist...

And what about Adam Lambert?...heish...the song what do you want from me keep singing on my head!! i can't make it stop!! hantu punya Lambert!!!

bah, that's all for now...will update soon...and i'll blog walk again when my assignments done...but then..exam plak around the corner...hahah...then time cuti la...kan...hm..

Nazwan and Phonology

ya...
today went to see the Audiometrist. Unfortunately, Zuan was not very cooperative with the doctor. I think he pissed the Doctor off. (got that term ka?) So, Zuan was sedated, let him fall asleep for awhile before testing him again. Sadly, he woke up just after the left ear checked. sebelah lagi dia renung - renung dok tu dengan pandangan tajam. So have to come back again next month. Another appoinment. Luckily this time, it will be on the study week, so i don't have to 'absent' from class.

As for today, i managed to come to my Phonology midterm. 're-seat' midterm actually. Why? i scored worst on my first one. And this time? at least i don't do much bullshit in my paper..hehehe...though i cannot 'write the exact /right terms'  aku paham sorang sudah la...err..boleh ka camtu..?

bah, bapa saya tunggu di luar lebri sudah ni.nanti ngamuk pulak dia. see you guys in the next update.hopefully soon.......

p/s: hubby at semporna now, 2moro is my BIL wedding day...

blog walking...

it's been a while i didn't read others blog..hehehe...so just now, i blogwalk. so many story to read on. i didn't realise the time.

Nazwan: First Check Up - Appointment with an audiometrist

Last Thursday, i went to see the 'Pakar Perubatan Keluarga' . i thought i was going to meet a paediatrician but it turned out the doctor is a 'Pakar Perubatan keluarga'. I've been asked a lot of questions regarding of Zuan's development from smiling onwards. And i must admit that i was not very sure for some of my answers. I feels like i'm not a competence mother..how can i became not sure..? *sigh*

so the doctor refer Zuan to the audiometrist first.
Zuan appointment will be on the 15th of March. sadly, his daddy is not around, if not, we can go together. have to absent classes that day..no choice, i cannot let his grandma take him herself. enough of trouble-soming her.

Any sign for Autism? i've been scolded for mentioning that. I'm not bah..just that my thinking was being 'poisoned' by my parents..

"kamu mau ka anak kamu ada autisme?kamu doa - doa la"

no...i really hope zuan is just delayed in speech..nothing more than that... but the checklist...

another *sigh* will update soon, now i am busy with my mid term..

My ZuaN Dearest

i stumbled upon an  Autism site and suddenly it knocked my head. i did some reading and checklist. Feels like i cannot accept it at first,but now i admit that i must redha and tawakal for everything that happen. God has planned it this way.But i'll do everything for my Zuan. and i hope that this is just my over reacting feeling..terlebih - lebih.

Autism Checklist



Difficulty in mixing with other children  = he will sometime look uncomfortable and isolate himself - check
Insistence on sameness; resists changes in routine = i'm not aware of this
Inappropriate laughing and giggling = sometimes, i misunderstood it as he being happy - check

No real fear of dangers = he don't even know the dangers!! - check

Little or no eye contact = hard to have eye contact - check

Sustained odd play = i'm not aware of this
Apparent insensitivity to pain = no wonder everytime went to the clinic for his injection, he barely cry..

Echolalia ( repeating words or phrases in place of normal language ) = i'm not aware of this but he stop babling suddenly few weeks back...

Prefers to be alone; aloof manner = i'm not aware of this

May not want cuddling or act cuddly = obviously.can only hug him when he want to
Spins objects = his favorite.. :(

Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as deaf = it is not easy to call him by his name...need to try hard..
Inappropriate attachment to objects = plastic tumbler/cup, cans
Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words = yup..totally
Noticeable physical overactivity or extreme underactivity = sometimes he runs all the time..
Tantrums - displays extreme distress for no apparent reason =not yet showing any that cannot be controlled
Unresponsive to normal teaching methods = *sigh*
Uneven gross/fine motor skills. (May not want to kick ball but can stack blocks.) = throwing things around but don't want to put it back in place.

This thursday, i have an appointment with the child specialist. I hope i can have better advice. I know, this is almost hard for me to accept but i know, he is my precious.. and i will love him no matter what.. i am not suppose to grieve right? People might not understand my Zuan and i'll make sure no one bully him.

" Dear God, please help me to get through this situation.Help me to be calm and patient with him and let me love him more and more everyday. Amin"

love and the tiger

"I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life
And I thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing




'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one


I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
 I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, we're leaving


And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one


Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey


Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking


Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one
Two is better than one "

suddenly want to post this lyrics...the mood for valentine's day..

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE.LETS THE LOVE FILL THE AIR...SPREAD THE LOVE..

This year, i will not be able to celebrate it with my hubby. Yeah...feel a bit sad of it. But nevermind, since he will be on holiday next month and will be bcak back to kk, then will will celebrate belatedly..(is the word belatedly exist?) i will buy him perfume as a valentine's gift (any suggestion?) and i myself ask for a Valentino Rudy's handbag..hehehe...worth it what..hahaha...

my semester break started unofficially today, since i don't have any class 'nymore. But there are too much ASS-ignments, afraid that i couldn't finish it on time.you see, i still sneak time to fill in my blog while doing my article review and 'facebooking' some more? OMG!! buat - buat la kerja bah...

to my frens that celebrating CNY, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, MAY THE TIGER UNLEASH IN YOU ALL...ROAARR!! don't drink and drive, safe journey and have fun!!

i'm really back now..i do...

hallo world......hi all....happy new year 2010, happy january, happy february...(the month of love)

i still miss my old blogs but nevermind.. life must go on. i have a new one now. and i hope i will be loyal blogging..

so how's my life?
well, last time i was buzy with my tons of assignmnet  assignments, been through with my first final exam in UMS, nice GPA for starter, started my 2nd sem, now struggling with my loads of assignments, hubby still in Kuching, dunno when he will be back in KK, Wan is okay at home, regardless of his slow proggression of development ( i love him, no matter what), on my way to obtain my first driving license (so i can have and drive my hubby's Honda Civic hehe) and i haven't receive my PTPTipu is not yet.

that's all for my first official post. to all my blogger friends, i'll find you all guys!!!